Article: Is my Husband, Wife, Partner or Significant Other Cheating? Reasons to hire a Private Investigator

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Relationships and Infidelity - I suspect my husband, wife, partner, significant other is cheating? What do I do?

If you suspect that your spouse is cheating you need to confirm or deny that suspicion. If you intend going to court it is simply not a good idea to try and prove he's a cheater, yourself. DIY action is fraught with dangers, but you need to know. You need professional help to get you rock-solid evidence that your suspicion is correct. This also prevents self doubt later, your confidence may be eroded by the behaviour of your partner. This will erode your resolve.

If you intend going to court, winning custody can be difficult. A courtroom is no place for the weak hearted, not the poor planner who believe's that right is on their side, so they will prevale. As they say, fail to plan and plan to fail. A private investigator can supply a real solution, and strategies to achieve your goals.

Discovering a third person in your relationship is hard enough. The corrosive acid of suspicion can eat at you. Confirmation of that suspicion then brings you to some tough decisions. These are decisions you must make for yourself. Do you deal with the infidelity, and move past it. Do you leave them. Do you start making plans and squirreling away money to leave them. Do you confront them now, do you confront them later. Do you start investigators researching his/her assets, and start making notes of what money they are somehow finding to spend on that bit on the side?

You then have to start planning about custody, assets, finances, where will you go. You're family, his family - and yes, the person who strike first has the edge.

For custody a judge will decide, in contested matters, where the children will live. Being a cheater may not be a basis for not accessing the children, you may need more. There is no longer an accepted ruling that the mother IS the best carer for the children. It will get ugly, it will get messy. Proof is essential. Whilst friends and family members may support you, their testimony is seen as biased. Please don't let them get caught out lying 'trying to help' as this will destroy your cases credibility. Private Investigators are independant. Quite often they ask for money up front as this permits them to say they are not motivated by payment, as they have already been paid.

As a party to the action your testimony will be considered tainted, and biased, even if it isn't. You need professional help. Private Investigators are cheaper than solicitors. Bear in mind you need both.

TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE

You need to act now! Depending on where, in the cycle of the affair, your spouse may be the affair may end before you prove it. You need to act now, whilst the action is taking place. An affair on average lasts 3 to 6 months. It may start and end without your knowledge. The triggers may be family upheaval, work stress, mutual attraction or an opportunity presents itself (especially true with co-workers).

Some of the indicators include unexplained phone calls and texts, computer messages, unexplained absences or changed behaviour such as showering as soon as they get home. A hidden pre-paid phone.

In some cases they may leave you for the mistress. Waiting to prove your case may be too late. Don't let the opportunity escape. Basically, if they did it once and got away with it they may stop, for now, but you can bet london to a brick they've jumped that fence once they will think about doing it again.

Having said that cheaters can change. It may be that the forces that drive them have gone, that the relationship has improved, that they don't feel that need. Some people find that their partner does come back, and stay. It's sometimes referred to as a 'rocky' period in a relationship. Some get a fright, and don't want to jump that fence again. The confrontation may be enough to force them to accept that they will lose more than they gain.

In these circumstances you should feel sorry for the celebrity. The media hounding won't let them move on.

SATISFY YOUR NEED TO KNOW

A lot of our clients, especially for relationship matters, and custody disputes 'need to know'. They may have far more than a suspicion about something, they may have actually already left and want to confirm that their suspicions about what would happen are right. They may know what their ex-partner is like with the children, what he or she has promised to do (such as not leave the children alone, always supervise them or not expose them to the new partner). They need to know the realities of the situation.

Each wants reassurance that they are not the only person with this 'need to know'. Well, I can guarantee they aren't. We all operate in both the emotional and logical fields. Sometimes the emotional field and the 'need to know' won't let us move forward. Satisfy that need. Confirming if your right or wrong, and knowing, is better than imagining.

DON'T GO AND INTENTIONALLY WITNESS THE 'AFFAIR' YOURSELF

Firstly, why put yourself through that. Secondly, what reaction will you have. We can all claim to be perfectly in control but when faced with infidelity our reactions may not be what we expect. I have observed what happens when emotions run high, through confrontation over an 'affair'. There is no control.

In attempting to 'see for yourself' you may also create hurdles for later gathering evidence, as well as exposing yourslef to 'stalking' allegations. Let the professionals handle it.

I have had clients ask the location where the dallying partner and their lover were. I have had them attend and a serious altercation develop. We no longer reveal these particulars at the time that the incident is happening, for that reason.

YOUR EMOTIONS COULD GET YOU THROWN IN JAIL.

Being morally in the right is not a defence. Placing yourself in a position where you are going to react emotionally may expose you to subsequent legal action. You do not want that hanging over your head when fighting for custody of children, or assetts.

Again, let the professionals deal with it.

PROFESSIONAL TESTIMONY OF AN INDEPENDANT WITNESS

Private Investigators are independant, it is luck which side hires them. Generally they do not know the client prior to the court case, they do not see the client other than professionally during the court case, and they may never see the client again after the court case.

In that way they are similar to solicitors. They are providing a service. They are professionals in gathering evidence in a way that is acceptable to a court. They provide a professional testimony, without an emotional taint.

For more on hiring a Private Investigator for relationship or Infidelity Investigations.
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PLEASE BEAR IN MIND
-that threatening to get a Private Investigator before you do so can be counter productive,
-if you receive updates during the course of an enquiry DO NOT confront the subject for investigation,
-if information comes to hand from another source do not confront the subject with it, PASS IT to the investigators.

This is an article about using Private Investigators by The Director of The Private group Pty Ltd. He has had many years of experience in investigation. Of course, we would prefer that you use our investigators, however, the choice is yours. Consider your options. Decide your course of action. Proceed carefully.

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